Canadutch
Today is the first day of the year that I can say it’s FREEZIN’ outside!! Brrrrr! It was mild this morning when I left for school but when I came out a few hours later it was much colder. That’s the only down side of Autumn in the Netherlands, it’s even more impossible than usual to judge what to wear. We went this weekend and bought me a new winter jacket but I thought it would be too warm for today. I sure was wishing I had it on when I was on my way home though.
Yesterday morning Xander and I went on another stroll around the neighbourhood. When we left the house it was sunny, a few minutes later it rained, then it was sunny again. I could see droplets everywhere, bits of rain clinging to branches and berries before the sun dried them away. I never really realized how cool they looked until I had a camera in my pocket. I love how in one photo you can see the reflection of an entire tree in one drop of water. I love my camera. I hope my Dutch is good enough for me to take some photography courses once my Dutch classes are through.
This is Xander with our new friends Antonio and Paula. Paula is one of my classmates and we hit it off right away, I really like her a lot. She’s from Columbia and really has that Spanish way about her. She’s funny, energetic, lively and really incredibly friendly. We decided to get our hubbies together and have dinner to see how everyone gets along. It was great! We went to this little Italian restaurant called “La Borsa” which is right in the city center. I’ve walked by it loads of times but have never given it much thought or gone in. The food was lovely and the four of us chatted the entire time we were there. I really liked it because the conversation came naturally, it wasn’t one of those situations where you have to think of things to talk about. They were telling us all about what life is like in Columbia and it was really fascinating. All the talk about guerillas and drug dealers was definately a different world than the one I grew up in! They are not really certain of their future in NL, it will depend on whether Antonio can get work when he finishes his MBA. I really hope things work out for them though because I can see us becoming good friends.
Today Tanya had some thought provoking questions in her blog…
1) Realistically, where do you think you’ll be five years from now? What job will you be working, will you have family/friends/pets, where will you be living and how?
I think I’ll still be living in Rotterdam in this flat. Which will look very different to how it is now after us buying it and renovating it. I will be speaking Dutch with at least some fluency and we will have a toddler running around. I will either be a full time mom or working part time doing something easy like data entry or customer service. Xander will be in a new job doing something he enjoys. We will have made a few close friends and built ourselves a fulfilling life. We will travel at least once a year to visit my family and I will finally have my Dutch drivers license. We will spend our Sundays driving around exploring the country with baby and dog in tow. Xander and I will still be very much in love and glad we put the effort into our “new beginning” here in the Netherlands.
2) Unrealistically, given a perfect life, where do you want to be five years from now?
Living in Canada, preferrably in Toronto. We are comfortable enough financially to be able to go back to Cape Breton whenever we want. Xander is working in a stress free job that he really enjoys and we are finally parents. When our first child starts school I spend a year going back to school and then start my new career as a travel agent, planning people’s dream vacations and honeymoons. Xander has taken up mountian biking again and belongs to a club for it in Toronto.. and I have found a “buddy” to walk and work out with and have lost all my extra weight. We have gotten back in touch with all my old friends from Toronto and have a wonderful cluster of friends and whenever we feel like it we can hop in the car or a plane and go to Cape Breton where we are surrounded by loved ones. We own a beautiful home just outside the city with a big yard for the kid(s), a swimming pool and a small stable and my bedroom has a bathtub big enough to swim in.
3) What’s the big barrier keeping number one and two separate and distinct, or is there one?
Money.
4) Utterly and completely abandoning realism, make up where you’ll be in five years. Alien abductions and portals to alternate universes are encouraged.
My father has finally won the lottery and me, Xander, mom, dad and our children are living somewhere sunny and exciting, in a mansion with everything we want right at our fingertips. A giant motorhome big enough for us all to travel in and a helecoptor port/landing strip behind our home to fly our friends in for the weekend. Oh, and lets not forget the yacht(s)..
5) Where did you believe you’d be now, five years ago? Pick a crucial event of the past five years and tell us where you’d be now if it had been different.
I thought I’d still be living in Toronto, probably married by now and working. Not sure where as I knew the company I worked for back then (GE Capital) was closing down. I probably would have tried to get on at American Express with their customer service or fraud departments. I may have even gone back to school like I had planned.. I’d have traded my Mx3 in for some nice mid sized family car with a bit of a sporty look to it. My husband and I would probably spend most of our time with my old friends Diane and Chris/Rhiannon. We’d probably all have kids or be about to have them by now and going through that whole experience together. Or rather, Diane would be advising the rest of us as she’s already been there. I’d be living the life I’ve always dreamed of in a city I love, with a job I love, man I love, friends I love and not too far from the family I love.
What changed things? I moved to Europe.. where all I really have is the man I love. That is no small thing, mind you.. but it doesn’t always make up for all the other things that aren’t here. If we had made a different choice and he had come to Canada instead I think our lives would have been much different. We would be happier and closer to our goals than we are now. Not only because Xander would be able to find better jobs, but because I would have continued working there as well and wouldn’t have experienced the extreme down time I’ve had here. Most importantly we would be surrounded by friends and family and know we always have the emotional support we need, which makes all the difference in the world.
How much do you reveal in your blogs?? What is too much? What is enough?
I reveal as much as I am comfortable with and try not to discuss private matters that involve others or that others wouldn’t want me to discuss publicly. This blog is essentially about all aspects of my life. I share my happiness, sadness, challenges, fears, successes and failures and do my best to not be ashamed of any of it, rather just talk about it and try to learn from it.
As for what is too much.. Who’s to say? No matter what you do you can’t please everyone. I discuss what is going on in my life, even the more private things like trying to get pregnant, some parts of my relationship with Xander, my experiences living in Holland etc. I talk about these things because I have friends who are going through the same things, I read their blogs and learn about/from their experiences the same as they do mine. For example my friend Shirley (Wife of my former roomate in PEI) is trying to get pregnant as well. Due to our time difference we are hardly ever online at the same time. So how do we keep informed on each other’s progress? Through our blogs! I have other friends I’ve met online (Such as Tanya, a Canadian living in Hong Kong) who are expats and like Shirley and I with our pregnancy issues.. we share our triumphs and woes about life in a foreign country. Does that mean EVERYONE is interested in reading about all of these things? Of course not.. but if they aren’t then don’t read it, don’t try to tell me I shouldn’t share it simply because some aren’t interested.
I speak my mind honestly and try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are able to take it for what it is, or leave it. There are many MANY things that I would love to write about. Experiences I’d love to share, things I’d love to get out there and have my say about but I don’t. I follow my instinct on what is acceptable and what would be going too far. I don’t want to hurt anyone, nor do I want to censor myself to please everyone else. So I try to find a happy medium. The fact is though, this is MY space. It is my place to talk about the issues in my life. They are MY stories to tell. If people don’t like it, nobody is forcing them to read it.
Why do you keep a blog?
I started this website as a project to teach myself html and in doing so have found blogging to be almost theraputic. It feels good to get my thoughts out and talk about the things that happen with me or what’s on my mind. I have gone a long time here in the Netherland without many friends or people to talk to and it has been nice to have an outlet of my own where I can talk and if people feel like listening, they can. It’s also been a great way for my friends and I to keep track of each other. With the time differences between me and some of my old friends back home we don’t get that many chances to chat. The same goes for friends I’ve met on the internet who live in different time zones. It’s easy to read each other’s blogs and find out what is going on, leave comments for each other and so on. It’s just the times changing, blogging is the latest fad and is a great way for us to keep the people in our lives up to date with what is going on in our lives.
If someone was insulted by what you wrote, would you change it, apologize or tell them to suck it up?
It would depend on what it was. If they took the time to explain to me what was so insulting and I could see what was bothering them, sure I’d remove it. I wouldn’t leave it there if I knew it really bothered them. On the other hand, like I said earlier, you can’t please everyone. Common sense tells you that if you write a blog containing your thoughts and opinions on different subjects that there are people who may be insulted by it. So do you just not write them in fear of that, or do you trust that the people will understand that it’s just that.. your thoughts and opinions? I guess what I mean is, if I was angry one day and wrote a blog about someone I know being particularly nasty and later when all was calm and they came to me asking me to take it down, I would. If someone gets upset because they don’t agree with something I say or take offense to something, I would try to talk to them and help them understand why I feel the way I do or why I said it. If they still have a problem with it, the choice is theirs if they want to suck it up and continue reading or never visit again because I won’t change it.
Well that’s it. Thanks Tanya, as I said these questions were very thought provoking!
