Canadutch
As I was walking the dog this morning a man rode up to me on his bike and commented on what a cute dog I have.
Duh… anyone with eyes can see that.
He continued chatting with me… I got the usual… where are you from, how long have you lived here, yada yada. He was from some place I’ve never heard of in West Africa, he was black, riding a nice looking bike and moderately attractive. Probably somewhere around 30 years old…
He followed me the whole time I was walking and I noticed a face that just looked friendly two minutes ago was suddenly perving me up and down. This is when it got uncomfortable.
He asked where I lived and I said “Over there” while waving my arm in a way that could have been pointing to any apartment building behind me. There was no way I was going to tell this guy where I lived.
He then started talking about how he could see me again and trying to figure it out. Earlier in our conversation, when he asked if I had family in Holland, I told him my husband is Dutch… so he was fully aware that I am married. He didn’t seem to care though and continued to have a one sided conversation about how we could meet again. I just kept walking and didn’t really say anything. I knew I should have said something like:
It’s not going to happen, get lost!
My husband carries a gun!
I have herpes!
Want to come in and compare penises?
Go away, this dog is trained to attack!
… or something equally unappealing, but instead I just walked. Cut me some slack here, it’s not like I deal with this shit every day!
He asked for my phone number, I told him I had no phone… that I just use my husband’s mobile. He asked if I’d call him and we could meet in the park and talk ‘or something’. He then went on with comments like:
I saw you from way up the street.
You are so beautiful!
I really really like you!
You are so pretty!
If not for your husband we could be together!
I really like you so much.
That’s when I told him it wasn’t going to happen and I had to go.
I continued to walk the dog around the neighbourhood until I was sure he was gone and then I scurried into the house and locked the doors.
I’ve been hit on before but this was really creepy.
Since living in the Netherlands I have been consistantly hit on by African men. I know it’s because they like women who have some err.. cushin’ for the pushin’ but I’ve never really known why.
So I decided to look it up!
I found this article which was unrelated but I noticed some comments from people that explained the African man’s obsession with large women.
Growing up in Kwa-Zulu Natal, which is predominantly populated by the Zulu people, I believe that it is indeed a sign of wealth. This is a very male orientated idea as the more “fuller” your wife and children appear, the wealthier the man of the house will appear to others. I think that obesity is the least of the problems in Africa when you take into account the continuing spread of Aids, the poverty and the lack of education for children.
Natasha Samuel, United Kingdom (Originally South Africa)Being fat in Africa is a sign of health and wealth. Our mothers-in-law demand to see daughters-in-law who make the earth tremble when they walk (umfazi ohamba kunyakazele umhlaba). This is the sign of a true African woman. In a country like Zimbabwe where an estimated 1.4 people are suspected to be living with HIV/Aids, you just cannot contemplate loosing weight without fearing that your neighbours will start whispering that you have Aids. Man and women alike feel comfortable dating a fat/big person because they are considered “clean”. Hence the colloquial name for AIDS in west Africa is “slim”
Thoko Elphick-Pooley, Bulawayo, Zimbabwe
So that explains it, I guess. It would seem that while these men are living in a totally different culture and society, their own culture still runs deep. When they see my chubby little behind swaying it’s way down the sidewalk they think “Now there’s one well-fed, wealthy, aids-free lady free for the takin’!
Hi, My name is Loren from Germany. 18 years of age. I like your site :) I am a student and I learned something here. Thanks!
Ewww! Very creepy!
Some guys to NOT know when to quit. I would’ve shoved his bike up his ass, handlebars first.
I was on campus a couple months ago and this guy approached me — tall, thin, reedy, sleazy and completely letcherous. He had a conversation about the weather with my boobs for about 15 minutes and then flat-out asked me if I’d ever faked it with my boyfriend.
I didn’t do the small-talk, “I don’t want to offend you but sod off” bit; I immediately told him to leave me the hell alone, but he asked me if I wanted to “fake it for cash” — porn. Then I noticed that a guy was walking up to me, quickly, from the side and motioning to the other guy to get closer.
A cop showed up and arrested them, because they were apparently soliciting on campus and had actually tried to abduct a chick earlier in the day when she said no.
Christ.
OMG Is all I have to say bout that. that’s really creepy yet funny in a way, sorry for the laughter but if it were me I’d be like running in the opposite direction. Sure I’ve been hit on and asked if i’m married. Nowe i can honestly say yes i’m married did you look for the ring? and I KNOW some women don’t wear them jsut like some men don’t. That’s another story but my point was that the articles that you found on africa males liking the “heavier” female is interesting. Soemthing I hadn’t known…..def something you ddin’t expect to happen when u woke up this moring eh!
Ugh… I hear ya! Happens to me all the time as well.
To make you feel better I am voting for you now on BOTB! ;-)
I would have been freaked out and worried. You read too many stories these days of people disappearing while on walks or trips to the store and what not.
I’ve had this before here in Holland. I had a Nigerian guy come up to me in McDonalds where I was breastfeeding my younger son. He asked me if both kids were boys and when I said yes he asked if I was married. He was really keen to give me his number etc, even though I told him I wasn’t interested. He actually told me that he likes bigger women and especially the ‘mothers of boys’. Fun.
I had the same thing happen another time when I was walking down the road – this time a Ugandan guy. I just took it as a compliment. I am sure there was no harm meant.
ha, no wonder I get all the imports asking me to dance at the club…lol
You just described a typical day for me if I go to town and look around. What was even worse was a few months ago when I decided to start looking for a job and went down to the CWI. I was put in a room behind a computer with 15 African men, and for the next hour I was hit on every 2 mins. I finally left and tried again next week, same damn thing!
It creeps me out as well, so now I just say no thank you and ignore them. If they persis I give them bitchy looks or tell them to get lost hahah.
Your not the only one who’s had to deal with that ;)
Geeez, that’d weird me out too.
Some people need to learn there is such a thing as to “upfront”. Or maybe they just need to get a clue everyonce in a while.
Popped in by way of BlogMad…nice site and enjoyed the read!