30 Days of Truth

A while back I saw a post on Avitable’s blog titled 30 Days of Truth.  Apparently it is one of those blog memes that had been going around which I tend to avoid but I sort of like this one, it’s thought provoking and makes you think about yourself and your life. So I’m going to give it a go, what the hell!

Basically, there are a list of things you have to discuss and be totally honest about.  Here is this list:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

I think some of this is going to be difficult but it’s one of those things that get you thinking, ya know?  So here goes.

Eish, there are a few things I could put here but I think I’ll go with my short fuse.  This covers a few different areas… my quick temper, lack of patience and general attitude. If something is too difficult, I lose my shit and give up. If someone irritates me, I get my nose out of joint and ignore them. If something doesn’t work properly or doesn’t go the way I want it to, I throw my toys and have a complete hissy.  I’m fighty, and I don’t want to be.  I want to be all .. make love not war, dudes!

I want to have more patience with things.  I want to be that person that takes a deep breath and deals with things head on and in a mature and responsible manner, rather than being the “Fuck you, I’m taking my ball and going home!” type that I usually am now.   It has improved over the years, my temper is nothing like it used to be and I’m learning to channel it when I can but this is going to be a lifelong thing, not something I’ll be able to change overnight.  I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t still be a complete shithead at times.

I know it irritates the bejesus out of some people, especially my husband, who has to sit in the house and roll his eyes while I’m in the kitchen screaming at the microwave for not doing whatever I wanted it to do in the way I wanted to do it… but it irritates me too.  Probably even more than it irritates him!  I know he’d disagree…but naturally he’d probably be wrong.

I need to be hypnotized and convinced that I am the picture of serenity, that I am calm, cool and collected and nothing is able to fuck with my chi.

Yep, that’s it, I need me a good ol’ fashioned brainwashing!