Canadutch
Shit, this one is tough. Who’s idea was it for me to do this stupid thing anyway?! haha
I think we all have people we get to know who we find out we don’t really jive with, and I could write about someone like that but I don’t think it’s possible to write a post about them here without somehow hurting their feelings and I don’t want to do that. So I’m going to take it in another direction.
The person I need to let go of and wish I didn’t know is me. No, stay with me here… I mean, the me I used to be. I wish I never knew that humungously fat girl who was brutally insecure and made a mess of her life. I also wish I could let her go, forget she ever existed and move on with my life being who I really want to be.
I know that the things that happen in our life are what shapes us as people, and I suppose it’s good that I still remember that person because it will help me stay motivated to never be her again, but that version of me is something I’m not really proud of so looking back on it makes me groan and wish I was seeing someone different.
I feel like I go on and on about this whole old me and new me thing like there is some clear divide, there’s not really… in a lot of ways I’m still that person, or see myself as that person. That’s why I need to let go, because until I stop living in that bubble of insecurity I’ll never really grow.
If only that was as easy to do as it is to say!
Ok yeah so I copped out on this entry in a way because there could have been an incredibly juicy and gossipy way to go about it but to be honest, I honestly can’t be bothered with the drama it would have caused. Still, what I said was true.
Yep. Definitely separated at birth.
You are such an inspiration to me. I can’t say that enough. I am 38 single, lonely, hate my job, and I eat to cope. I eat when I’m happy, I eat when I’m sad, I eat when I’m bored. It’s like I’m trying to fill up a hole in my soul with food. Stupid sounding I know, but it’s true. I’m 5’10” and over 300 pounds. Just when I think massive weight loss can’t be achieved with surgical intervention, I happened upon your blog. So keep on transforming girl! And keep on sharing with us. You don’t know how much you affect others.
Tammy,
You will let go of that unnamed toxic person when you 100% ditch that old part of you. You are on that road and doing the work now. It won’t happen overnight, but you will get there. It will feel so good when you make the break.
I have been looking at your posts and you are incredibly brave and strong to go through this process. Good on you. Congratulate yourself. You deserve it.
Thanks Susan :)