A Good Start to a New Year

I took this photo a little over a year ago when I was in the city center with friends. I was excited to see the Christmas lights going up and wondering what the new year would bring. Life in the Netherlands was starting to come together for me, I was making friends and starting to feel more independent. I was even thinking about going back to work, which I did when I returned to a call center I’d worked at a few years before. That was short lived when after a few months the reasons I quit the first time came rushing back to me.

Little did I know how much would change over the coming year. I’ve learned a lot of things I wish I had known years ago, mainly that the more I open myself up to life here in the Netherlands the happier I am. Fighting change was making me miserable! I’ve become a much more positive person and that has helped a lot when it came to making friends and creating a life for myself. It’s also brought about big changes at home, as my being happier here makes us both more happy and relaxed.

So, that brings me to the main purpose for this post! If you look in the photo, there is a big glass building in the background. As of next week that will be my new home away from home!

I GOT A NEW JOB!

It’s been in the works for a little while but I haven’t wanted to blog about it just in case it didn’t happen. There’s nothing worse than making a big deal about something and then having it not happen.

So here’s the chain of events that lead me to going back to work again.

When I was working at the call center there were two other people in my training group that were from North America, a Canadian girl and an American guy. Obviously we spent most of our time talking to each other and basically just enjoying meeting new English people. They had become very good friends while we were working there because they were also in the same Dutch classes. So most of their time was spent together.

When I stopped working there I kept in touch with them both via MSN and Facebook and they ended up leaving the company not long after I did. American guy got a job somewhere else and later got Canadian girl hired in a different department. He approached me a few times asking for a CV so he could refer me as well but I hesitated. I just didn’t feel ready, it wasn’t some half-assed call center, it was a proper respectable job. I kept telling him I’d send him my resume but something kept stopping me. I told him that I would think about it while I was in Canada and I’d get back to him when I returned to NL.

The trip to Canada was awesome and really helped open my eyes about coming back here and what I wanted out of life. When I came back I decided that I would send my CV to my friend and see what happens.

Before I could get in touch with him, he came to me and told me that Canadian girl had passed away. Unbeknownst to many of us, she had heart trouble and during a trip to the gym one day she collapsed. Her brain went without oxygen for too long and she slipped into a coma which the doctors told her family she would not be coming out of. They made the decision to take her off life support. It was a shock to many of the people who knew her, as she was very young, and it left me stunned. Now I knew that if I did get a job there, I wouldn’t be working with her, rather… in place of her.

We talked about it and I sent him my CV before Christmas, then he passed it on to the human resources guy. The guy was away for the holidays so I didn’t hear from them until last week when they called and asked me to come in for an interview.

I spent the next week giving myself a hernia wondering about all the things that could go wrong, if I was ready to go back to work full time, if I was up to the job, if they’d like me… and well, pretty much anything else I could possibly worry about. I messaged the crap out of American guy, bombarding him with questions about the company, the people, and making sure that he was confident in his choice to refer me. He was always incredibly patient and talked me down from a panicked state a number of times.

On Tuesday I had my interview with the HR guy and the head of the department I’d be working in. I must have said something right because they called me today and offered me a job! OhmigodIamfreakingout!

It’s a three month contract to start, with the possibility of renewal into a 6 month, then 1 year then permanent. They said they’ve never not renewed someone so I’m hoping I won’t be the first! I’ll be working in contract administration and the hours are pretty long, from 9am – 6pm but I get an hour for lunch which is nice. I always found that a half hour lunch always feels like it’s just beginning and then it’s already over. The location couldn’t possibly be more convenient. As you can see from the pic it’s smack in the middle of the city, a two minute walk from where I get off the tram.

I’m nervous. I’m worried that it will be too much of an adjustment all at once. I’m scared that the lack of ‘me time’ will make me nutty… and I’m just generally worried that it won’t work out. I think the problem is that I want it so badly that if something happens either from me or them that makes it not go as well as I hope, that I’ll feel this massive feeling of failure like I have in the past. Granted, the call center I worked at was absolute shit and is known for being shit so it was stupid of me to bother going there in the first place.

I’m trying to stay totally positive about this because I think that being out in the working world will be great for me and that having a second income will be great for myself and my husband. I need to be positive about this and believe in myself more than I have in the past. Otherwise I’ll not-believe myself into failure.

So, think positive thoughts for me… that way if I waver you guys can pick up the slack!

P.S. I almost forgot, the entire company is English! WOOT!

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