Barbie Meets The Stepford Wives

That’s what Simon said Carrie Underwood reminded him of on American Idol this week. I roared with laughter because that’s exactly what I thought the minute she walked out on stage.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the girl and I think she has a huge chance of winning the competition but this week.. oh my! I decided to play around in photoshop a bit and see just how right Simon and I were, pretty remarkable results!

Hehehe Tehehehe! Seriously though, I think she picked a horrible song and her outfit was laughable, even though she did look pretty. They were doing DISCO for petes sake, there was any number of funky songs she could have chosen. She looked better in her little dancing bit before her performance than she did in the performance itself.

Now about the rest of the show.. jesus, what can I say? I have a few conspiracy theories as to why Anthony Federov is still in the competition.

• He is sleeping with the nephew of the director
• He has connections to the mafia and they are laying the smackdown on people and forcing them to vote
• His parents have invented an untraceable vote generator in his basement that can call 100 times per minute to vote for their baby boy
• He knows some weird psychic voodoo shit and is sending out subliminal messages in his songs that make people vote for him

Ok that’s all I could come up with, but I really think I’m on to something here! If he or Scott Savol aren’t gone next week, I’m calling the F-B-FUCKIN-I, then they can get to the bottom of this.

Constantine Maroulis did well again this week, I thought he had the whole 70’s look down pretty well, but of course Simon had to have a go at him for it. I am really starting to think Constantine might really be going far in this competition, he’s so much more flexible than I thought. I mean hell, how many of us said that the Rockers would be out on Disco Week for sure. There’s us fooled..

Speaking of Rockers. Hot DAMN .. Bo Bice is hot! Have I mentioned that? His song this week was ok, I didn’t think he did as great as they said but hell, like I care.

Vonzell Solomon is like one of those clever sprinters who lets everyone else run themselves tired before she really starts putting her energy in. These past few weeks she’s done great and is surprising a lot of people, I think. This week she was fantastic, in my opinion.

Then there’s poor Anwar, poor poor Anwar. I knew he was on his way out but I had no idea it would be this soon. It boggles my mind how he was gone before Scott and Anthony, no lie.. you could have knocked me over with a feather when I heard the results.

Scott is getting the pity votes.. nobody wants to see the fat boy go. He may as well be a 6 year old cancer patient because nobody is going to let him get voted off… and well, you heard what I think of Anthony.

America needs one collective ass whoopin! Someone start voting for me please, I’m stuck over here in the Netherlands and can’t vote!! Vote for me!! Doesn’t matter who at this point as long as it’s one of these contestants:

BO – CONSTANTINE – CARRIE – VONZELL

.. and NOT one of these:

SCOTT – ANTHONY

I’m not kidding! Someone had better vote for me! I’ll be expecting comments full of promises people.. don’t let me down!