Canadutch
In an effort to gain self confidence and deal with body image issues still remaining after my weight loss, I decided to take part in a 365 project focusing on self portraits. My hopes are that after a year of taking a photo of myself ever day, that I will stop hating photos of myself, stop picking apart the things I hate about my body and learn to accept myself in a way that I haven’t been able to before. It is uncomfortable, challenging and at times scary as I am also putting myself out there in a way I never have… but sometimes personal growth requires stepping out of your comfort zone. So this is my project, 365 days of Self Portraits…
Week 16 was a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. There were some amazing highs, like the Pink concert and some lows, when I lost my grandfather. All in all it turned out to be a good week with some pretty good photos. My follow up to the Ninja vs Lego war was popular on the 365 project site and like the one before it, made it to the popular page, which I thought was great!
Day 107 – My eyebrows are the bane of my existence. I can’t pluck them properly to save my life, one is always higher than the other (which I feel leaves me looking constantly surprised or dubious!) and rather than lots of small hairs I have fewer long ones. Oh how they irritate me!
Day 108 – You may have won the battle, Lego… but you have not won the war!!
(This is a follow up photo from one I did earlier this month about my battle with Lego, you can find it here)
Day 109 – I’m a day behind, had such a busy day and late night last night, but WHAT a fantastic night it was! I saw PINK in concert in Amsterdam!
This is my friend Penny and I excitedly waiting in line to get in!
Day 110 – This was taken this evening when we walked the dogs before dinner. It was a beautiful day in Rotterdam and I was also happy to be wearing the new PINK t-shirt that I bought at the concert last night!
You see, in 2009 I saw Pink in concert for the first time. I was SO excited as I’ve not been to many concerts. This was when I was at my highest weight, so I was feeling pretty miserable physically (oh hell, and mentally too!). When we got to the t-shirt stand and I was told that the largest size they had was an XL, my heart sank. I probably would have needed at least a 3x-4x at that time. I tried to try it on but when I put my arms into the body I knew that it was nowhere wide enough, but I bought it anyway in hopes that one day it would fit and I’d be able to wear it.
It took 3 years for me to be able to wear that shirt. I wrote about it on May 1, 2012 on my blog, which was almost 5 months after my WLS. It was a big NSV (non-scale victory) for me to finally be able to wear that t-shirt comfortably. http://www.breigh.com/wordpress/archives/8212
Last night at the concert I wasn’t sure what size t-shirt to get, but I was thrilled knowing I’d be able to walk away with one and wear it right away. I decided to get a large to be safe, and went to the bathroom in the stadium to try it on. I went straight back to the booth to exchange it for a medium as the large was way too big. I couldn’t believe it.
I wish I could have gone back in time and told that sad, embarrassed girl I was at the 2009 concert just how much better life will be for her one day.
Day 111 – Just because you live in a big city doesn’t mean there aren’t peaceful places to get out and just enjoy the outdoors. This morning I went on a lovely 15km bike ride and stopped here at my favorite spot by a lake to have a snack and be in the fresh air a little longer. Have I mentioned how much I love spring?
Day 112 – It’s always so easy to get wrapped up in the stress of life and today was one of those days for me. This afternoon my husband said he was going out for a walk and came home with these roses, just to make me smile… I freaking love that dude.
Sometimes I need to remind myself to not let the stress and anxiety of what is going on get to me, and to remember all of the positive things in my life. To literally stop and smell the roses. Today I took a moment and did just that!
Day 113 – If I ever get to the point where I wonder if my husband and I have anything in common anymore, all I have to do is look at our footwear.
Didn’t feel like a proper selfie today. I am coming down with a cold and received some very sad news from home last night (my grandfather passed away) and this was just about all the effort I was able to put into a photo.
No matter how long you live in another country, one thing never changes… how difficult it is to be away from family when something is going on. While day to day the homesickness has pretty much disappeared, the feelings of disconnection and loneliness come rushing back at times like this.
This is the life I have chosen, though, so for today I will feel and deal, spend time with my wonderful husband and not concern myself too much with photography.
Weeks 1 & 2: Days 1-14
Week 3: Days 15-21
Week 4: Days 22-28
Week 5: Days 29-35
Week 6: Days 36-42
Week 7: Days 43-49
Week 8: Days 50-56
Week 9: Days 57-63
Week 10: Days 64-70
Week 11: Days 71-78
Week 12: Days 79-85
Week 13: Days 86-92
Week 14: Days 93-99
Week 15: Days 100-106
