Canadutch
Two really horrible things happened in the past few days.
I somehow managed to lose a longtime friend. It was a friend I first made years ago when I was playing Ultima Online and we spoke a lot and got to know each other very very well. I had been upset about not hearing from her much and her apparent lack of interest in speaking to me lately. She was never online anymore and when she did come on she’d tell me it was by mistake, because her MSN started up automatically. The conversations were short and she’d often rush off quickly. After over a half a year of this I finally blocked her on MSN because firstly, I didn’t want to end up lashing out at her if she blew me off again and secondly, I was tired of always being there. I figured I’d unblock her after a week or two which would give me some time to get over it, and would prevent her from feeling obligated to message me if she mistakingly came online again. I unblocked her after a while and about a week later she messaged me asking if I was upset (or rather “pouting”). I said that I was upset, but was never “pouting”, and that I wasn’t anymore. That I just wanted to step back and take some space myself. Anyhow, she got angry with me for being upset, stating that it wasn’t just me… that she was treating all her friends that way recently. I didn’t really get how this was meant to make me feel better, other than that there were other people out there feeling slighted as well so I wasn’t alone. She ended up basically telling me off and removing me from anywhere that we spoke. Sucks like hell but I guess that’s how it goes with online relationships. I’m sure there were misunderstandings in there somewhere, but when you talk to someone so infrequently, there’s really no way to know what is at the base of things like this. Hopefully someday I’ll hear from her again.
The other thing was reading that Gail’s fiance David has gotten some bad news recently. As you can read in their blogs, his cancer has spread. What started out in his lungs has now spread to his tail bone area and is causing him quite a bit of pain. Of all the times I thought I’d love to trade places with them… living in Canada and the US, getting to fly whenever they wanted, having so many friends and family and what seemed like the perfect new life together… I wouldn’t trade with them now for anything. They are both incredibly strong and optimistic people, which is wonderful and exactly what is needed in that kind of situation. I think I’d fall apart at the seams, because I do just imagining it was Xander. I think that’s partially due to the huge amount of Cancer in my family though. My heart really goes out to them.. I wish I was closer so I could do something for Gail. We already learned why not to send a package.
Oh, on a slightly less crappy note, but still pretty shit. I got emails from the school demanding that I come and do the final exams for my course. So I have to go do that Monday and Tuesday. At least that will be over forever once I get that done…
Two days until the beginning of hell week and I have to call on the first day to arrange the tests to check my fallopian tubes. Finally going to get back on track with finding out what is going on with our conception issues. Not really looking forward to that either…
Our toilet is cracked.. I noticed it when I was cleaning it yesterday. We called the shop and now we have to take it back to exchange it. It will be weird returning a toilet I’ve already poo’d in.
