Recent Read: Mahlangeni by Kobi Kruger

I recently finished reading this book, and I loved it.   When I was in the south of France a few months ago my brother-in-law gave it to me to read because he loved it as well.  He had spent some time in South Africa and picked it up while he was there.

I’m sure it brings back memories of things he’s seen and heard while he was there, but even for someone like me, who has never been to Africa at all, it was a great read.

Here’s a synopsis from Amazon.co.uk:

Mahlangeni, the Tsonga word for "meeting place", is one of the most remote ranger stations in the Kruger National Park. Far from everywhere, this isolated corner of the wilderness was home for eleven years to Kobie Kruger, wife of the ranger in charge of the station, and their their three daughters. Running a household and raising a family in a place where leopards, elephants, snakes and the like are your only neighbours, where you have no telephone, and where a trip to town means first crossing a river full of hippos and crocodiles, is hardly a straightforward business. But Kobie Kruger tackled each problem with undaunted pragmatism and an energy that gives new meaning to word resourceful.

As I said in my review of the book (you can see it if you click the photo to go to the review page), what I love most about this book is the way she writes it.   It’s as if she’s talking to you across a table and is telling you stories about her life at Mahlangeni.

One thing I read in her book touched me especially.   It was when she was talking about how she felt about the solitude she experiences living there.   She put into words something I have felt for a long time, and while I know my solitude doesn’t compare to hers, the feelings are still the same.

This is what she wrote (from page 52 of the book):

Perhaps, initially, solitude takes some getting used to.  But once you feel comfortable with it, it grows on you, and you become addicted to it.  You even become possessive of it.   And when you feel possessive of your solitude, and of your vast, uncluttered living space, you may at times experience an acute reluctance to share it with other people.   That happens to me sometimes:   I get something close to an anxiety attack when I hear that we are expecting visitors.   Luckily, it doesn’t happen to me all the time and, luckily, we don’t get visitors very often.   If the visitors are good friends, or dear family, it can be really wonderful to share Mahlangeni with them for a couple of days.  But not too often, and not for too long. Shopping trips to Phalaborwa are my main source of distress.  I become so upset and agitated when people crowd me that I often end up going home with only half the items I set out to buy.

It’s hard for me to explain how strongly I can relate to her feelings, because many people wouldn’t understand it.   Although, I feel that other expat women who live here in the Netherlands will nod firmly and agree wholeheartedly without needing any explanation at all.

When I came here there was a long period of isolation for me.   I was unable to cope with the culture shock I was experiencing and this lead to me spending a lot of time at home alone.   I had a hard time adjusting to that, as I was always out and about doing something when I lived in Canada… but after a while it became what I knew.

Before I knew it, I was a solitary creature who knew nothing but my own time and my own space.   It may not have been acres of land in a park in Africa, but it was my space all the same and I feel the same way about it that Kobi feels about her space at Mahlangeni.    When we are having visitors I go into a slight sort of panic mode.  Cleaning and fussing about and feeling a discomfort that I can’t explain because while I am really looking forward to seeing the people who are visiting, I’m also dreading it in a way (this excludes my parents, they are the only people I am ever 100% comfortable having in my home for any length of time).   When they are here and gone, I’m glad they came and enjoyed my time with them, but it doesn’t stop me from reacting the same way the next time visitors are coming.

Going out here also causes me the same anxiety as Kobi feels when she goes shopping.   I can’t deal with the crowds and often within an hour or so in a shopping center I’m ready to run out screaming.   Partly, I think, because it’s so crowded and busy in this city.  The malls are busier on a random Tuesday afternoon than they are at Christmas in Canada… but also because I just can’t stand the lack of space, lack of air, and the people pushing and bumping into me.

I wish I didn’t feel this way and I often try to change it just by going out more and forcing myself to deal, but the fact is, I have been conditioned to feel this way and this is where I am most happy… at home, in my own space.

Anyhow, it’s a great book.   Pick it up if you ever get the chance!