It’s All Inconclusive

Well the blood work came back and the only thing that showed up was that my glucose was high.  I phoned the doctor and was surprised when All In Your Head Doc’s wife answered.   She was the ‘nice’ one (if you use a really wonky scale of what is nice, I mean).  Here’s the conversation:

“Hello this is *Name*Birthday* calling for the results of my bloodwork”
”Ah yes, let me see… yes, your glucose is high, so we will make an appointment to talk to you”
”Ok, umm, so what does that mean?”
”Well, it means you could be diabetic but we will have to do more tests.  You should lose weight."
”Ok…”
”Do you not speak Dutch yet?”
”Well, yes, some”
”You have been here a long time, this is bad!”
”Uh, ok, well I like to do these things in English so I know exactly what is happening”
”You should speak Dutch by now!”
”SO ANYWAY, about that appointment?!”  *Gives middle finger to phone for a few seconds*
”Yes we will book a double appointment so you can talk to my husband and find out what is going on.”
”Great, yup see you then!”

Jesus, well any good mood I may have been having before that phone call was pretty much obliterated.

We made an appointment for later in the week.   I got off the phone and was too busy being annoyed that she wasted time while talking about my health to scold me about not speaking Dutch with her.   Once I got over that it sunk in.  Possibly diabetic.  Well it makes sense I guess, I do need to lose weight and my father, his father, and loads of others on that side of the family have diabetes.  Crap.

I spent the week preparing myself for the big double appointment.  I saw lots of lectures about my weight, info on diabetes and what I need to do.  It would be a lot to take in.   A double appointment, how long is that?  The last time we were there for about 30 minutes for goodness sake.

I spoke to my mother, who has a decent amount of experience with Diabetes from dealing with my dad.  She ran the numbers of what is considered high or dangerous, what is acceptable and what numbers I should be shocked by.  So I went into the meeting at least somewhat prepared.

I went, and here’s what was said.

“Your bloodwork came back and your glucose is a little high”
”How high was it?”
”Well, it was 7.2 we consider anything between 4-7 to be normal. You are .2 over and it’s possible that the injection I gave you in your foot the day before may have affected it by .1 or .2”
“Um, so doesn’t that put me in the normal range?”
”Yes, but you are on the high side of the normal range which puts you at risk for diabetes in the future”
”Right…”

At this point I’m sitting there pondering what is going on.  Obviously, over the years I’ve not been as active as I could.  I’ve also gone through some shitty times where food was my one source of comfort.  I gained weight, and yeah… a fair bit of it too.  I knew a change in habits was necessary, I’ve known it for a while now, but I’m not like can’t move, smash the window and get me out with a crane when I die fat.   Besides, if I fall within the normal range, and don’t actually HAVE anything… what is causing the symptoms I went to him with initially?!   I still have no real answer, but I still will have to sit through lectures about things already knew anyway.

There was no lecture though.  I assumed with the booking of a double appointment, that meant they’d have some kind of info for me about what exactly is going on.  So not the case.

“Ok, so you’ll need to change the way you do things. Eat less and be more active”
”Right… great… so your wife said that more tests need to be done to find out for sure?”
”Well, no… “ *Enter some weird explanation here that I’ve forgotten already, because I was too busy boggling over how two doctors who are married and work together 24/7 can not even get their facts straight between them*
”Ok, I thought she said that in order to be sure it wasn’t a fluke and to find out if there really is a problem with glucose / diabetes that two tests needed to be done”
”So, there is a place here in Rotterdam that you can go to that will help you with your lifestyle change.  Here is their card”
”Right, ok”
”I will send you for more bloodwork, you can call me 3 days after for the results”
”Ok…” but I thought he said I didn’t need it… hrmm.
”Bye”

There were a few little bits I’m forgetting but that was basically the entire conversation.   Wow, do I feel informed!  When my husband was urging me to go to the doctor, I said these exact words.

They are just going to say they don’t know, it’s inconclusive, they can’t help me… but I need to lose weight!

Not sure I was that far off, this seems like a lot of needles and frustration to go through for such predictable and useless results.  Like with my infertility problems, hair loss and everything else.  They always say I MIGHT have something, but they aren’t sure, tests are inconclusive… but lose weight!

Yes, I know I need to lose weight.  What I DON’T know is why these other things are happening.   I see people more overweight than me all the time, they have full heads of hair and most of them have children.  In fact, I can’t remember the last time I saw a balding, childless fat woman.   So infertility, hair loss and everything else isn’t just weight related.   If they could say, this is happening because this happens in your body because you are overweight.  FINE, I get it!  They don’t do that though, it’s like they never know what they are doing and my weight is the obvious fall back choice so they have SOMETHING to say.

Ugh, now I’m ranting.  Anyhow, the card he gave me is for a physiotherapist?  I’ve never been to one but when I think of them I imagine people you see after you break a leg, not someone who is going to help you with getting motivated about making a big lifestyle change, or helping you figure out how.  Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.  I just hope it’s not another case of me going somewhere, making the effort just to be told I’m in the wrong place, they can’t help me, etc because that happens far too often.

I need to call back today for the results of the 2nd set of blood work, but I’m not exactly sure why I’m going to bother, they won’t tell me much.   In any case, I’m reconsidering my decision not to go to the clinic in Den Haag.  At least there I’ll be able to speak to them in my own language, where I can explain myself and have things explained to me effortlessly, without the added lecture on my language skills.  I think I’ve come pretty far in regards to speaking Dutch over the years, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to do the important things that need clarity in my own language.