Canadutch
Christ, for some reason I can’t stop sneezing! *Blows nose*The last few days I’ve been in a bit of a “bleh” state, which is why I haven’t had a lot to say here. I’ve just been hanging out watching massive amounts of TV episodes I downloaded, sleeping, being grumpy and grouchy. Today it all ended in one huge tantrum about living here, moving home, money, in laws… you know the drill. After Xander got home and we had some dinner, it was a little better.
Then I went out on my balcony and took a deep breath and saw the sun setting and thought, well… that’s pretty. Suddenly I felt calmer and happier. Just takes the simplest things sometimes.
I’m still dieting and walking, even started doing some free weights. My weight has gone UP though I think, argh! Wtf!? I hope it’s just “Women stuff”. We’ll see when I weigh myself this weekend. Otherwise I’ll just delude myself like all dieting/exercising women do and tell myself “Muscle weighs more than fat, you’re gaining muscle” or some such thing. Rationalization is the key.
I tried CoH, it blows. It’s just fluff with no real social aspects to the game at all. Nothing I couldn’t get from a console game and save myself the $15/month. The only people I knew on the server were a couple and they’d talk on teamspeak while I was in game wondering what the hell was going on. [lie] Funnnnnn [/lie]… Yeah so, that’s the end of that game. Maybe I’ll try World of Warcraft when it comes out. It seems a bit more my speed. I considered re-opening my Star Wars Galaxies account but I’m not sure. I used to have this great website for the char I played, for her in game business (tailoring and image design) but like an idiot I deleted everything when I quit, figuring I’d never return to the game. Oh well, that’s just one of those many dumb things I do along the way in life.
I’ll probably go gameless again for a while, I was just looking for something to pass the boredom.
Starting to wonder about a friendship of mine. There’s this woman I consider to be one of my closest friends ever. I’ve told her things I’d never (EVER) tell other people, and she has with me as well. Over the past few years she’s been a great confidant and friend, I’ve always enjoyed speaking with her. She lives far away so our only form of communication is MSN or email. Recently she’s met a man and fallen in love, and I’m so incredibly happy for her. She’s happier than she’s been in all the time I’ve known her and she really deserves a nice guy. Anyway, she’s been distant or something.. rarely is the first to make contact and half the time I do she just either doesn’t respond from the start or drifts off halfway through. Later she’ll tell me “Oh I was just having an intense conversation with [the guy]” and I say my usual “Oh it’s ok”, it never really feels ok though… The other day I was bored and was looking through people’s websites, reading etc. I was telling a friend about how artistic she is and sent them there. While we were looking at it my friend found this website of a valentine’s card (a graphic she made) for her “closest friends”. I was after telling this friend of mine what a close friend she was, so he asks “which one are you?” I went to the website and read about how she made this thing last year for her 10 closest friends, and I wasn’t on it. I started thinking, wow.. how’s that for perspective (not to mention a bit embarassing). I don’t know, maybe I’m silly, just I don’t have that many friends and it’s weird to see that the person I consider to be pretty much top of the list doesn’t even list me in the top ten. Anyway, god knows I haven’t been the best at being a friend or keeping them lately. It really falls in line with other recent experiences so I can’t say I was entirely shocked about it.
Ah, just another day in the life…
