25 Things That Annoy Me

Following Lynn’s lead… I’m making another post to pimp myself on 25peeps. I thought her idea for making lists of “25 things that…” clever so I’ll risk being a total wannebe and make a list of my own.

25 Things That Annoy Me
(AKA 25 Things That Make Me Want To Kill You)
(( In no specific order ))

1. Leaving the toilet seat up. While I don’t land my ass on the cold, hard, pee stained bowl… it still bugs me. Especially when I have to pee really bad and the seat up almost makes the difference between making it and pissing my pants.

2. People on the tram or bus who sit behind me and chew their gum loudly. *Smack Smack Snap Crack Smack* It makes me want to turn around and hit them on the forehead in hopes that the jerking motion of their head causes the gum to get lodged in their throat so they crumple over into a heap of silence.

3. People who don’t deal with their candy wrappers, chip bags and whatever other fucking crinkly thing they’ve brought into the movies. When I used to get my chocolates for in the cinema, I’d make sure to open them and have them situated in a way that made reaching them easy and silent. Why can’t other people do this?! Why do they wait until the movie starts and then start opening their loud crinky bags?! Assholes.

4. That I am quite possibly the only woman on earth who still feels tampons no matter how I change the direction, force or depth that I shove the damn things in there. No matter what I do I still feel like I’ve got a log lodged up my twat.

5. That I’m forced to use tampons because since going off the pill I bleed like a gutted pig and am paranoid every time I wear a pad and stand up that I’ve got a giant red fucking bullseye on the back of my pants.

6. That after years of obsessing about having a baby, I’m starting to wonder if I really want one at all or was just obsessing because I needed something to obsess about and look forward to.

7. The toll trying to concieve and the bullshit that comes along with it took on my sex drive / sex life.

8. That tooth in the very back of the top of my mouth that cracked like 2 years ago and now is only half there… but I leave like that because I’m not covered for dental and figure if it doesn’t hurt I may as well leave it, rather than face the possible mountain of dental bills to have it removed.

9. That I’ll gladly endure the pain of piercing my face, but I’m scared to death of the pain of the dentist.

10. That people I don’t like and who don’t like me still read my website because they are fucking assholes and are sitting there like vultures hoping I’ll say something or reveal something about my life that they can swoop down on me and pick me apart about.

11. That some of those people are family.

12. The feeling of raw chicken… it makes me gag and I have to handle it with a knife and fork. If I get chicken slime on me I have to wash my hands furiously.

13. The buzzing of mosquitos. It’s bad enough that they eat me alive, but they could at least have the decency to do it silently without coming up and buzzing “I’m coming to get you, bitch!” in my ear first.

14. Waking up at 3am because I have to pee, and having to decide whether to risk going to the toilet and ending up totally awake, or twisting my legs up tight and taking however much more sleep I can get.

15. The fad among teenage girls over the last few years of being ‘bi’ … or claiming to be, rather. Makes me wish I was a full on lesbian so I could go around calling their bluff. They’ll do anything to make the teenage boys drool nowadays… if only they had the smarts to realize that teenage boys drool at the sight of a leaf blowing in the wind. They could save themselves the trouble of living a lie.

16. Milk that is past it’s date. I can’t drink milk on the last day of it’s best before date or any day after… and don’t even ask me to deal with curdled milk. Not gonna happen.

17. People’s armpits. I hate armpits with a passion… I don’t want to see yours and don’t be trying to look at mine. If you are wearing a tank top, keep your arms down ffs!!! Especially if you have hairy pits or those little globs of deoderant. I don’t care how clean shaven or fresh they are, keep them away from me.

18. Secrets… I hate secrets I don’t know about. Especially if people act like pricks about it and let you know there is a secret you don’t know. For christs sake, if you’re not going to tell me the secret than don’t tell me it exists, you jackass.

19. People who only message me when they need something. Like this one chick I know here in Rotterdam.. I never hear from her unless she needs some kind of info. She’ll message me asking me how I’m doing and I sit there counting until she says something like “Where can I find…”, “What is.. “, “How do I.. “, “Can you tell me… ” or whatever else she needs. She never asks how I’m doing just for the sake of asking how I’m doing. I’ve stopped caring how she is doing.

20. My wide feet. My feet are wide and it’s been a major pain in the ass the last while because I’ve been looking for a pair of flip-flops and the band across my foot is always too tight on my size.

21. Dutch TV. It blows… I know I’ve bitched about this before but it’s been a while and it still blows. Now we pay 2 euros more per month for digital TV that blows too. Thought we’d actually get some decent shows but all we get is more channels with total shit on them.

22. Not having a car. I want to go to the beach today but I can’t be fucked taking a train to get there and having to drag all our crap with us. We should have a car in a couple of weeks but in the meantime, this still irritates the shit out of me.

23. That I don’t get more comments on my blog. I know I’m not -that- interesting but I’m an attention whore and I love when people post comments. It makes me feel special.

24. People who put their faces too close to mine. PERSONAL SPACE PEOPLE!!!! It makes me feel like I’m about to suffocate. I even feel like I’m suffocating now just thinking about it. Argh.

25. My thinning hair. I’m still paranoid as hell about it.  After making this post I realized there is something that ticks me off even more than my thinning hair.  PEOPLE WHO HAVE MUSIC ON THEIR BLOG!  I hate it, I hate it with a fire that burns.  It’s so fucking irritating to click on someone’s website just to jump out of your skin as some song comes blaring out of your speakers.  If you are one of the idiots that does this, stop it. Other people hate it too.

I kinda dig this 25 lists thing. I’ll have to think of what 25 things I’m going to list next, but in the meantime…

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