Canadutch
The weather here in NL has been sick, as I’m sure most are aware we are having a heatwave over here…. oh, no.. excuse me.. a HITLERGOLF! ( I really must stop calling it that because I totally forget the proper word for it now )
It’s been so so so hot and soooo humid (shut up Darryn).
This doesn’t jive well with someone who hates to sweat. I’ve been coming to grips with the fact that I’m going to sweat when I exercise, and even been able to tolerate it dripping off my face or rolling down my back. It even feels good sometimes as I know it means my body is eating away at itself and getting rid of some of the fat. Plus I do most of my exercise at home so nobody sees me and I can sit on my exercise bike in my bra and panties in front of the fan… then leg it for the shower as soon as I’m done.
What I don’t like is sweating in public. Yes yes I know I said this before but it’s a current issue for me with this heat we have going on here. I wonder if there is a real phobia of sweating in public, if there is… I totally have it. I think it’s weight related though because if I feel a little mist of perspiration on my forehead, I feel like I look drenched in sweat and that people are looking at me and thinking “ewwww look at the sweaty fat chick!”, as though I sweat if I lift a finger and it’s just so pathetic.
Retarded, I know, but my brain has rarely cooperated with me over the last few years… Which is why, with my doctors agreement, I have started taking anti-depressants again. I started taking Paroxetine a few years ago and stupidly stopped once I started feeling better. Over the last few years, the disappointment and upset surrounding our infertility issues on top of my other issues (homesickness, lonliness etc) made things much worse and in May I decided it was time to try the happy pills again. They are working beautifully. I’m happier, getting healthier (mentally and physically) and my priorities are more in order.
One problem though, one of the rare side effects which I have been experiencing (figures!) is excessive sweating. LOVELY! Of all the damn side effects to get, it had to be that one.
Now, I’m not shlupping around with a slug trail or anything… but I sweat noticably more TO MYSELF, which is the problem. I notice it even if other people don’t.
So when I go somewhere, say for example I’m walking around town and go into a shop and am a bit sweaty, I try to stealthily wipe my brow while the salesperson isn’t looking… then I get weird about being a bit sweaty which makes me sweat more, which makes me more weird, which makes me sweat more…. I end up pretending to be looking at something and while my head may be down, my eyes are up to the ceiling looking for the airco thing so I can go stand under it. I make my brain stop panicking and eventually cool / calm down.
Then I walk along to the next shop and repeat the process.
See, if I lived couple of decades in the future this wouldn’t be an issue, I could just buy a better functioning brain on eBay.
