Canadutch
That’s what I’d say to my teenager if they told me they wanted to sail around the world, climb a mountain people die on, bungee jump, skydive or … oh, I don’t know… roller skate? It’s probably a blessing for my imaginary children that they don’t actually exist because this is one of those times where I wonder if I’d be a terrible, unreasonable and overprotective parent.
This morning I saw an article about a 16 year old girl who is attempting to sail around the world solo. She is also currently missing after setting off her distress beacon during bad weather on the Indian Ocean.
In the last entry from Sunderland on her blog, on Wednesday, she wrote:
The last few days have pretty busy out here. I’ve been in some rough weather for awhile with winds steady at 40-45 knots with higher gusts. With that front passing, the conditions were lighter today.
Her family said she had hit 30-foot swells. The Australian government has dispatched rescue ships and an airplane in the search, which is focused some 2,000 miles west of Australia.
Her older brother, Zac, sailed solo around the world last year, at age 17. Unsurprisingly, her parents are being criticized for letting their daughter, who is an accomplished, competent sailor, attempt this trip.
Ok, so she is an accomplished, competent sailor… but she’s also SIXTEEN!! At what point do parents stop looking out for their child’s dreams and start looking out for their safety? I know that supporting your child is important. I understand that it’s crucial to their growth and future independence to urge them to dream and reach for their goals… but sailing around the world alone? At SIXTEEN? Ugh. I’m not sure I’ll be able to scrape together a lot of sympathy for these parents if things go badly. Ok, I will empathize with them and pity them for what they are going through, but the bitchy little part of the back of my brain will be pointing my finger and saying something along the lines of “It’s your own fault!”.
There was a highly publicized court case not long ago here in the Netherlands where the court stopped a 13 year old girl from sailing around the world alone. I believe that this was the right decision, and seriously, is there that much difference between 13 and 16? Other than a strange attraction to boys, PMS and if they are lucky… some sign of some breasts? I don’t know. In Canada a 16 year old can drive, they are only 3 years away from being able to drink. It’s a mere two years away from being declared an adult and technically at that age they are able to be mothers, some of my friends were mothers at that age.
Still, it’s SIXTEEN!!
I truly believe if I was ever lucky enough to be a mother that I would support my child in every way I can. I’d urge them to follow their dreams and try to nurture a thirst for knowledge and a desire to make something of themselves. I would want them to be happy.
I also believe I’d love them enough to at some point say Screw your dreams, I said no, now go do your homework… and be happy to have them still alive and possibly hating me for it when they are old enough to make these decisions for themselves. I’d be all about being the bad cop in this situation, no doubt. Yes, I want them to be happy, but not when the risk is their lives.
Ok, one could argue that you can die at any time, and that’s true. I know, I know… people love to give the whole argument that your child could be hit by a bus on the way to school. They’d be right too, but the chances are increased when your child tells you that their biggest dream in the world is to play chicken with a bus driver and you give them that supportive nudge out into the street.
The whole sailing around the world thing seems to be such a trend with teenagers at the moment. I really can’t help but question what is wrong with their parents that they even entertain the idea of this.
What do you think? Would you allow your child to do something like this on their own at that age? Do you support the decision this girl’s parents made in allowing her to attempt to sail around the world on her own? What do you think about the case here in the Netherlands, do you think the court made the right decision? Do you think it was up to them to decide or should it have been the parents’ decision?
*EDIT* Apparently she’s been found, my feelings still haven’t changed though. I’m hoping this scare has shocked some people into action and that the next parents who are faced with this decision will think twice.
What I most dislike in these stories of climbing a high mountain alone, sailing around the world, etc. is when they are missing then there’s a lot of comotion, the friends and family cry and say on TV how special these “heroes” were and how well they could “live their lives to the full”, rescue teams comes from different countries, a LOT of money is spent looking for them, all the media is talking about… aaaaargh ! I just hope my kids have regular useful jobs and do not become Formula 1 pilots or astronauts going in a experimental mission to Venus.
haha same here :)
I agree with you completely. Yes, there are amazingly mature and responsible sixteen year olds out there, but there has to be limits. What if she were to be boarded by pirates? Raped? Killed?
Thankfully it looks like this story will have a happy ending, but I sure hope it brings them all to their senses.
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I agree.. I thought the same thing about the pirates. I mean the girl would be worth more than the boat, I’m sure. What amount of maturity would get her anywhere in that case? Ok, so it could happen to a woman of ANY age but again, it’s up to the parents to do their best to prevent it at that age.
I was a bit shocked to to be honest, 16 is young and even though I’m sure she is a great sailor, I can’t imagine letting my hypothetical teen doing that.
On the other side, I went to China alone when I was 16. Yes, seriously. And no, I wasn’t living with a family or anything, I was backpacking. I know, don’t say anything.
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I honestly don’t get how all these people are doing these things at 16… living on their own, sailing around the world, traveling alone etc. When I was 16 I could drive, I was allowed to stay out until 1am and I thought I had all the freedom in the world. Maybe I’m old fashioned or uptight but I can’t imagine what on earth would possess parents to give their kids THAT much freedom at 16 years old.
Ok, right, I think there’s a big difference between 13 and 16 maturity wise, and kids growing up in this sort of environment seem to mature quicker than those in more “protected” households.
However, I do think, no matter what age, when you attempt something “dangerous”, whether it be at 16 or 46, if it goes up shit creek, you, or your family (for a minor), have to pay for rescue efforts.
When you go skiing in the Alps, or the Pyrenees, if you need a rescue helicopter, well, they’re gonna send you the bill, and rightfully so. This should be the same.
That said, at 16 you can be emancipated, hold a job, and drive in some countries, so why not?
I think when/if I have kids, I would wholeheartedly support their dreams, and if I think the ability and skills were there, I would support them the whole way.
Well, if the time ever comes I may or may not kidnap your child and hold them hostage for a few years :P I totally agree about the parents having to pay though, I wonder if it was considered in this case.
I agree with Ash..I went to school with a 14 year old who had a special license to drive and hold a job due to both of her parents being ill. I also went to school with two siblings that lost both of their parents and they had their own place and were working. I don’t think you can compair every kid with another one. I know for a fact my two couldn’t do something like this but there are exceptions to every rule.
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Those were children who were forced into situations they normally wouldn’t be due to necessity. If given the choice I’m sure they would have preferred to be allowed to be free of those kinds of responsibilities for a few more years. Plus, who knows how that all affected them in the long run. I still believe that it’s the parents’ job to keep their children safe and out of harms way until they are old enough to make these decisions for themselves.. and while some 16 year olds may seem incredibly mature, that doesn’t mean that they will be in every situation.
The first thing I thought this morning when I saw this on the news, was: “her family must not be very worried or otherwise, they wouldn’t have let her go alone – being just a kid!” … Oh dear, I just hope that she’s ok!
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Thankfully they found her safe and sound, but I think her parents are getting a lot of scrutiny now.
Hey, I was working in a full time job and living on my own when I was 15, so in my opinion 16 is not too young to do these kind of things. But – there are 16 year olds and then there are 16 year olds. My oldest son is a wise old man at ten, my youngest probably will be 25 and I’ll still worry if he has enough sensibility to cross the road on his own. I don’t think there can be a blanket rule, and in most cases, parents know their kids pretty well.
I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. I agree that some teenagers are exceptionally mature, but these are dangerous situations even for adults. The 16 year old that may seem mature and able at home may react quite differently in such stressful and dangerous situations.
My husband is very much of the “he could die crossing the street” persuasion, but even he thought the parents of that Dutch 13-year-old were off their rockers.
The whole thing is insane: these kids aren’t dreaming of sailing around the world (you can do that at any age), they dream of being famous for being the youngest. It’s not about the doing, it’s about getting noticed for doing. And to die chasing temporary fame? Best that can be said of that is at least you’re taking your stupid out of the gene pool.
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That is such a good point. They can have this experience at any age but they really are pushing the envelope nowadays to be the FIRST or the YOUNGEST. At some point the parents have to be the ones to put their foot down and think sensibly.
I sincerely hope the parents are prosecuted for (and found guilty of) manslaughter or at least death due to negligence. I also think they ought to be made pay for the rescue effort that is now under way.
A 16 year old kid has no way to truly judge the dangers it faces, the parents do.
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