Canadutch
This has been such a strange weekend. It all started on Friday morning…
After my Foading of him last week (which I feel quite guilty about now) my husband broke down and confessed to me what is really going on with him and why he’s been acting so strangely lately.
Over the last few months he’s been growing increasingly stressed at work. He’s mentioned this a few times but I never thought it was as bad as it was. He didn’t talk about it that much so I thought it was just him letting off steam after a rough day.
On Friday morning he had a proper meltdown. I found him pacing the livingroom and sat there while he explained everything he’s been feeling over the last few months and how hard it’s been for him lately. It explained a lot… mainly why he hasn’t been himself lately. The happy-go-lucky, laid back Xander that I married has slowly morphed into a tense, cranky, anti-social stranger that often left me frustrated and confused.
He was shaking, pacing, wringing his hands and all the things that have been bothering him came pouring out. His work, project after project, no time to relax, not sleeping, stomach pains, chest pains, headaches, people not doing what they are supposed to do, multiple projects… it went on and on. I had no idea it had been getting this bad for him and I was so sad to think that he’d been carrying this around for weeks or months without any release.
I talked him into going to the doctor, and we were on our way a few hours later. We saw a lovely lady doctor at the clinic where he went last (like 5 years ago, he never gets sick!). It was heartbreaking for me to sit there and watch him… he completely broke down and told her how everything is weighing on him and how he’s been feeling. He is completely burned out and between the stress and the worry of letting down his colleagues, he had wound himself so tight… All I could do was sit there and rub his back or his arm to know I was there and try not to cry myself.
He’s been put on stress leave from work until further notice but I think he’s spending more time worrying about leaving his team with more work than he is worrying about himself. Hopefully he will start to relax over the next few weeks.
His company has been really good about it… but I think this is something they see quite often so they aren’t surprised. They are hooking him up with people to talk to so he can learn to manage the stress. In the meantime I’ll be trying to figure out how to make things as stress free as possible for him here at home.
It’s strange how things change. For so long it was me who struggled and felt the depression and anxiety that he couldn’t quite understand and it was him who had to sit and watch me go through it, with a feeling of helplessness that I couldn’t understand either.
Now it’s him who needs my support and I’m the one feeling helpless… now he understands how horrible it is to feel something you don’t want to feel and not be able to make it stop… and I understand how heartbreaking it is to see someone you love so upset and knowing there isn’t anything you can do but just be there.
I’m truly thankful that I have been able to get myself in a better mental state this winter, so I know I can be strong for him.
Life is strange sometimes…
Wow I can relate a little bit; I had a job that turned me into an angry stressed out miserable wretch. Glad to hear he is able to take a break and unwind!
Here is a little story someone told me that put things in an interesting light:
A teacher came into her class one day with a glass bucket filled with golf balls. She asked the class,
“Is the bucket full?”
Most of the class said yes it was.
She then poured in some small marbles that fell into the cracks.
She asked again, “Is the bucket full?”
And again most said yes it was.
Then she poured sand into the bucket filling in all the left over space and said,
“This bucket is your life, the golf balls are all those things in life that are the most important-family, friends, sleep and fun. The marbles are things a little less important, house, food, bills and the news. The sand is the things in life that are even less important, work, material possesions, money and the likes. If you fill you bucket with nothing but sand you will have no room left for the things that really matter and make life worth living. Carefull with what u fill your bucket with and no matter how full you think it is there is always room for one more golf ball.
I hope the doc helped and that this much needed time off is well spent.
OMG! That sucks! I am so sorry for you and him! Hope he’ll be better soon.
Hugz from Lisse!
*HUGS*
It’s hell watching someone you love go through this. I hope that you are both ok.
haha rockyjay, good advice. I’ll add to that.. HELLO..WEED..IS..LEGAL. haha kiddin’.
He has support so he’ll be fine.
Oh gosh Breigh, I’ve been there you know, the very same thing happened to Paul, his work meltdown took around a year and it was the most horrible thing to go through. It took Paul a couple of years but now he’s just gone back into a different job which he loves (he’s a postman) and he’s a different type of guy! Hang in there Hun, i know how hard it is watching the man you love go through these things but be strong and you’ll both come out the other side.
Hugsxxx
I feel for you. I’ve lived with girlfriends who had some serious stress, and you do feel helpless.
He has to try to understand that his workplace can survive without him for a while, and that everyone will be better off once he’s had a chance to relax properly, and only take on what he can handle when he gets back. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
He’s lucky to have someone like you to be with him, and to help him chill out.
Of course blow jobs and a few drinks are good, but you don’t need to use stress as a reason to have those, in my opinion.
He needs to get a good BJ and get drunk. Not necessary in that order.
I am dead serious. That is how tough guys handle stress. You want him to be tough guy, don’t you?