Fat Ad Shaming Women?

I just read this article on my beloved ONTD (I LOVE this site, so great for celeb gossip) and I’m all sorts of torn about what I think about it.

The gist is, the overweight lady on the bottom of the ad has a website that caters to chubby chasers, people who like big women.  She has photos for sale on her website and Ashley Madison, the company that is being called out in the article, bought the photo and paid a license for it.  Now, this gives them the right to use the photo in whatever way they want… but the model is up in arms about it and is (supposedly) very angry about what it represents.

She’s angry because her photo was used to slam fat people.  She said that by using the photo in that manner, they are ‘body shaming’ women who are overweight, and I have to agree with her.  From what I gather there were multiple ads and the general idea of all of them was that if your wife scares and disgusts you, why not have an affair with someone thin and beautiful.

She also didn’t like the fact that her photo was used in ads that are urging men to have affairs.  She didn’t want her photo on an ad that promoted adultery.  Fair enough.

The representative for Ashley Madison argues that the publicity that came from all of it his is the best thing that could have happened for the overweight model and her website, stating that she is probably not angry at all, but is using this as a ploy to gain more publicity for herself, also possible.

As a married, overweight woman I have mixed feelings about this entire fiasco.

Firstly, this woman is taking seductive photos of herself in very little clothing and putting them online for sale. By selling them and having people pay licensing fees, she is aware of the fact that once the photos are bought and paid for, they are no longer under her control. So in that sense, it’s her own fault and the company can’t be held to blame, it was their legal right to use the photo, regardless of the questionable nature of the ads.

I am not one of those big women who supports the whole ‘big is beautiful’ movement.  I agree that people should try to feel good about themselves regardless of their weight, and that self confidence is important.  I don’t believe that, even though many of us do, overweight people should live a life of shame.  On the other hand, I don’t think that being extremely overweight is anything to celebrate either.  I don’t believe it’s anything to be proud of or promote as a fun or healthy lifestyle.

I think the model put herself out there for that purpose, she had a website that was dedicated to the theme of being obese.  Even if it was meant to be for pleasure, she couldn’t be that naive.  There is no way she couldn’t know that by selling these kinds of photos of herself to the open public, that something like this could happen.  Common sense would tell you that for every one person out there on the internet that loves fatties, there are 4000 who don’t, and who would rather point fingers and ridicule.  So with that in mind, I don’t understand why she didn’t have a website, have members pay to join it and keep all the rights to the photos to herself.  At least then she’d have a legal leg to stand on in this case.  So for that, I have very little pity for her in regards to the use of the photo.

As for the idea that the ad is ‘body shaming’ overweight women, I suppose she’s right.  There are women out there who will look at the ad and wonder if they’ve let themselves go too much.  They will wonder what their spouse will think of these ads if they see them and worry that perhaps they might end up being cheated on.  In the end they will feel worse about themselves and feel more shame about their bodies than they had before they saw it.

Now, maybe I am the naive one now but I am not one of those women.  Yes, I am overweight and that does cause some insecurities within myself and how I view myself sexually, but do I think an ad like this is going to make my husband love me less or more inclined to cheat on me?  God no… then again, I wasn’t a size two when he married me either, so that may make a difference.  Regardless, I don’t think seeing an ad like this would make him suddenly want to cheat, nor would it suddenly make him the type to pay for sex, which is basically what you’d be doing with a company like that.  It’s not going to change who he is. If a man is going to cheat, he’s going to do so for any number of reasons, and it’s in his nature no matter what ads he sees or doesn’t see.  He may cheat with a girl at work, with someone he shares a hobby with or a stranger he meets on a bus.  If he’s the type that wants it the easy way and wants to pay for it, he will FIND a way to do so.  Seeing an ad like this isn’t going to change who a person is or give them an entirely different set of values… if a man sees the ad and calls this company, it was in him long before he saw the ad, they just gave him the outlet.

Does it suck that companies like this exist?  Absolutely, it’s disgusting.  That said, I have to acknowledge that there is a market out there for it and that the people who created the company were very clever to do so.  Even if I disagree with what they are doing on a moral standpoint, I can still see why it exists… because there IS money to be made on it.  Men don’t cheat because this company exists, the entire idea of that is absurd, they are going to do it regardless… only now there are people out there who are willing to make money on their bad decisions.  More power to them, I say.

In the end, I still think the company is horrid (though clever) and I think the model, however understandable her feelings may be in regards to their use, got what she was asking for by selling her photos in the first place.

I also agree that the model clearly had no problem putting herself out there on the internet, and selling the photos without knowing the purpose they were being used for.  So the idea that she is using her ‘outrage’ about these ads as a way to gain more publicity for herself is quite believable.

A lot of people who are overweight will look at his and be furious and quickly jump to the side of the model. I mean the people behind the adultery company don’t have a lot of redeeming qualities to draw you to their side, except maybe their keen business sense… but this is the internet, and things aren’t so black and white here.  I think both are on shaky ground and share the blame equally.  There is no innocent party here, and they are both getting what they paid for, so to speak.

What do you think?

P.S. I didn’t link to the company or the model. I just can’t stomach giving either of them any more publicity than they already have.