Bad Genes!

I love my mom and dad, but I’ve decided that they’ve passed down some pretty rotten genes.

I have my great grandmother from my mother’s side, Grannie’s, ass.  I know this because my sister has the same ass as me and Grannie is the only person I can think of when I go up the family tree that had one to match.  THANKS GRANNIE!!   That’s a sarcastic thanks, because if you’ve ever seen my ass, it’s huge.   I even have a convenient butt shelf!  You know, where my back ends and my ass begins completely horizontally.   I guess actually would be convenient if I lived in one of those countries where I was always carrying a child or a sack of grain on my back.   Here in the Netherlands (and most of the rest of the world) all it does is make it hard to find pants to fit my ass and my waist at the same time. 

I have my father’s temper, which means when I go to the store and find a pair of jeans to get over my giant ass and they are way too big in the waist, I get frustrated and pitch a fit…

… but I have my mother’s soft heart and need to be liked, so then I spend a half hour apologizing for it.

I also have his height, which wouldn’t be so bad if the only thing his father had ever given to either of us was his family’s uncanny ability to gain weight and never lose it.   So I’m short and gain weight just from walking through a supermarket while my great grandmother’s ass follows me around everywhere.

My father’s mother, my Nana Muriel, has left me her fair share of funky genes as well.  She had hay fever and Eczema and passed one on to my dad and one down to me.  Of course, I had to get the visible one.   They are both tied in to each other so when the hay fever season comes around and some people sneeze, I scratch.   Thankfully this has improved greatly as I’ve gotten older but I definitely felt the physical and emotional pain of it when I was the scabby child.

Now, it turns out that all these headaches I’ve been experiencing lately may be migraines.  Nana Muriel strikes again!  She and my father both had problems with migraines over the years and it looks like I won the gene pool lottery on that one as well.   The day before yesterday I was in complete agony, leaving me feeling like last night’s leftovers yesterday.   This has been a far too common occurrence over the past few months.   The doctor prescribed me muscle relaxants a few weeks ago thinking it was a pinched nerve, but they may as well have been sugar pills.  I felt no different and still felt like I was about to die, so at my visit to our company doctor yesterday (which I will discuss in more detail at a later date, as it involves work) he said he suspects I am developing migraines.

So, I know I don’t know many of you… but if you’re ever in Rotterdam and see a tiny little fat woman with four asses that’s scratching with one hand and holding her head with the other…come say Hi!!